I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
