That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
