yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
