Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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