that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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