i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
