I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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