i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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