All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
