You're so nebulous sometimes
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
