i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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