I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
