I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
