Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
