is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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