Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
