I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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