White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize