marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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