Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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