Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
