i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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