I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
