so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We are two peas in an std pod
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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