Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
