dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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