So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
What drink are we having for lunch?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize