what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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