glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
