i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
worst night to have a conscience
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
