STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
