Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
