he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
