dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
