My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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