how can u be prego again
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize