shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
