does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
