i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
