Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
