What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
