so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
