This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
