That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
