you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
