I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
