I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
