God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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