O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
