end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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