If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
