once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
