I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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