i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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