Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
