i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
