Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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