As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
