she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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