More tranny stories later!
Please, let me fuck your mom
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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